Wow. Talk about a pregnant pause

I'm not going to start off by saying how long it's been since I've blogged.

I'm also not going to apologize for my lack of verbal inspiration.

I'm not going to promise to blog more often.

But I am going to write something. :)

I recently made a connection between two things in my life. You'll see where all this is going before I get halfway through but never mind that.

When I was a baby/toddler, my father used to throw me up in the air. And catch me of course. Yes, I was one of those babies. Anyways it got me wondering whether there's a correlation between being thrown in the air as a child, and liking roller coasters.

In my case, I wonder if it's the source of my love for being in the air, flying between an obstacle and the ground.

Just food for thought. :)

The answer to life's problems

Honey, could you go take out the trash?
Sure thing. *opens front door*
No. There is an elephant in the way.

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
Open the fridge, put the...
No. There is an elephant in the way.

Quick, shoot that annoying bird!
No. There is an elephant in the way.

...so then she dumped me!! What do I do? Should I go and ask her for forgiveness?
Well you should, but...
No. There is an elephant in the way.

Eat your friggin vegetables man.
*reaches forward with fork*
No. There is an elephant in the way.

Push! Push! Just keep breathing, the baby's almost out. Come on now one more hard push!
No. There is an elephant in the way.

So what you gonna do? I need my luggage. You cant just tell me that you've lost it.
Well sir we're trying our very best to find out where your luggage went and we're sur...
No. There is an elephant in the way.

Hey dude. Got a light?
No. There is an elephant in the way.

So just tell him that he can go screw himself. Tell him that for me aite?
No. There is an elephant in the way.

Is it in?
No. There is an elephant in the way.

Dude you look like a bus fell on you. You should go get some sleep.
I want to, but...
No. There is an elephant in the way.

Can you burn me a dvd?
No. There is an elephant in the way.

GIMME ALL YOUR MONEH *pulls out knife*
No. There is an elephant in the way.

Okay class, time to hand up that 12 page essay.
No. There is an elephant in the way.

So by seeing how Achilles treated Hector's corpse, what can you say about the hubris of man?
Achilles didn't to anything to Hector's corpse.
There was an elephant in the way.

It's about time for you to grow up man!
No. There is an elephant in the way.

For Kyle

Not unlike marriage vows,
Our friendship was firm.

But unavoidable conclusions came early,
We spiraled ever downwards.

Helix, over double helix we fell,
Tracing smoke and red.

I wish not to see your face,
Cursed thief.

For you stole yet again,
A chunk of us.

Till death do us part?
We part.