Made of elegant white silk.
Curve hugging and tight,
It was the epitome of beauty; hers.
Falling to her legs,
Split at the side,
Exposing not nearly enough,
Of the beauty she held.
I stroked her legs,
I caressed her back,
I slid my hand down,
And squeezed her...
Her......
Her......
Seat
She, was a chair.
(Warning. Highly cynical point of view adopted)
Friday
I had the privilege of helping prepare for a wedding lunch, with some friends (Sean, Lewis, Samuel G), & some guys we didn’t know. It was in DUMC’s
Never before had I noticed the tiny miniscule details that were poured into these things. We started by arranging the tables, all 32 of them, and putting them into place. Then, we put sheets, followed by table cloths, followed by decorative dollies. (The VIP tables had a different color theme than the rest) After which, we set the table with flowers and arranged 10 wine glasses in neat circles. By then, the carrying of all the tables had started to get to us, and we were sweating slightly. But who cared? After all, our reward was to arrange countless dozens of cups, and flowers, and more cups. Followed by of course, carting 160 chairs to the tables, and arranging them. We were so relieved. It was “over”.
Then we discovered that we had to, as you may have already guessed, Dress each and every one of the 160 chairs with, uh, whatchamacallit, chair-dresses? It was a harrowing experience. And of course, to top it off, we tied ribbons on each of the chairs.
The ribbons are so important that I figured they deserve a paragraph of their own, less they feel insulted. It starts by finding the middle of a two meter long ribbon. Then, you wrap it around the chair and tie a knot. The next step was tricky. It involved kneeing the knot to keep it tight, while tying a ribbon knot, while keeping your balance, while trying desperately not to feel self conscious; all at the same time. You then you turn the ribbon into a puffy butterfly wing-like thing, and viola, you have tied a ribbon, onto a dressed chair.
Did I mention we dressed the chairs?
But hey, what wedding meal is complete without elaborately folded napkins? Yes, the four of us folded 160 napkins into a shape that I can only best describe as, a lamp. Fortunately though, it was a piece that only required 8 folds. Thank God for small mercies.
We then placed them between polished cutlery, wine glasses, and dressed chairs.
We were then instructed on the next day’s events, and how we would be participating in it. No, no, no. I didn’t just help prepare, I got to become a waiter!!! (To be updated later) We then carted the extra goods to the back of the church, and retired to a nice cup of milo, minus the milo.
Though it seemed like a quick affair, the entire set up time was 5 hours. And, remember that we weren’t the only ones there. There were others helping too. Gone are my dreams of having a mighty wedding with two thousand people attending the dinner. It would be too traumatic on whoever was preparing it. So out of consideration I’m going to have a quiet garden wedding with only my closest seven hundred and fifty friends instead.
No biggie right?
So that was my Friday, my beautiful Friday. And tomorrow after the meal, we’ll get to untie 160 ribbons, undress 160 chairs, and, well, more of that in the update.
Oh, yea. By the way, we dressed the chairs.
(Update)
Saturday
Phang Sing Lum & Gemima Chen
Those were the names of the bride and groom.
Though I spent 5 hours with her the previous day, only this morning did I discover that the person directing us yesterday was the bride. Yes, the bride herself, oversaw and organized her own wedding. Talk about stress!!!
The life of a waiter is a hectic one. A very, very hectic one. It involves keeping a keen eye for emptying cups (followed by refilling them), dirty plates that are no longer used, food that is running out, and ferrying supplies to and fro from the kitchen, while being harrowed by random people. It also involves asking the VVIPS whether they want coffee or tea, taking creamer and sugar for those already having coffee or tea, and deciphering what an old Chinese lady wants after she’s talked to you for 45 seconds, in Chinese.
I don’t know Chinese.
All this might have been slightly easier had I not been wearing black slacks and a white shirt, donned with a velvet black waiter’s vest. And a Life Choking Bow Tie. That evil black menace latched itself onto my collar and would not be removed for the 2.5 hour long ordeal.
The most interesting part was when we got to serve the VVIP table. Courteous manner is highly overrated here. Between ignored questions and trying my best not to spill coffee, I was fascinated by a somewhat lengthy disappearing act the bride & groom pulled. I conjured the excuse that they were changing, but 1 hour is a little long to change into a pink dress don’t you think?
But hey, lets not go there. Lets skip to the part where everyone left, without the traditional lineup and shake hands thingy. People just trickled out! But that was when the waiters came to play. Play, of course meant clearing all the tables of roughly 20 cups each, plates, bowls, stay bones, dirt, and of course grime… Okay maybe not the last two, but none the less it was ridiculously tedious. And heavy. Why didn’t they think of infusing helium into every ceramic plate?
Setting down was basically a deconstruction of the previous day’s work. Untying ribbons, undressing chairs, carting chairs, removing table cloths, keeping tables, stuff like that. After the whole tiring shebang, we went out and played bball!I was amazed that there wasn’t a single spot on my shirt. I have a dozen Ripplers that can vouch for me. Really.
Enough negativity though. It was an overall fun yet hectic experience that I would probably repeat for the money. Yea, and all this time you thought I was doing it for free? Fortunately, you’re gravely mistaken.
I suddenly noticed that the above narrative sounds somewhat like an old grandma reminiscing.
Yes, yes, that’s what I am.
An old grandma in a wedding gown.
No comments:
Post a Comment