I Got Conned

I recently bought a small tube of super glue.

With a Super Strength, Fast Drying formula, in a Clog-Free easy grip applicator, I was anxious to be finally able to glue that stubborn rubber piece that kept falling off my graphics tablet, back to where it belonged.

And of course with a Clog-Free applicator I was sure to succeed.

Except it was bloody clogged.

The reason?

The whole damned tube had dried up.


Sometimes, half a truth can be even worse than no truth at all.

Hypocrisy

You Know You're in Touble

When fifth grade was the best six years of your life

Ingrained Politeness

"Thanks" he said.

"Sure thing" I replied.

Then I started to wonder why he had thanked me for something so trivial.

He looked at me.

We knew we were thinking the same thing.

We laughed.

I enjoyed the much needed laugh.

And thanked him for it.

Leach Slayer

So I'm back from Tapah, with pretty much the same amount of bed bug bites as last time. And as last time, I'm the only one amongst us who got bitten at all. I swear there's a conspiracy here. I've come to believe that they bite the person with the most amount of luggage, as if to say that they'll cause discomfort to whoever goes through lengths to have comfort. This is under the assumption that more luggage is equivalent to more comfort.

I had seven pieces.

Well one was my cloths bag, another my harvest sack, two sleeping bags, a pair of computer speakers with a sub-woofer, 1 bag of junk food, and my pillow. One sleeping bag was for Jamie, the computer speakers for the hall, and my pillow? Well lets just say I'd rather not sleep on the drool of a thousand past inhabitants.

Though we were only there for two days, I had a great time and got to know some of the band members better. It was great fun.

The first afternoon we were there, I ended up playing monopoly with Jamie, Andy and Eugene on a laptop. Soon enough, someone began to, for lack of a better word, monopolize. Oh wait. There a better word. It's called ownage. =D

After I got owned, we went stream trotting. Since I only had one pair of shoes with me, I went with my customary bare foot style. About a kilometer down the road, I realized that it wasn't such a good idea after all. Now get this; I love walking barefoot. I've walked about 15km barefoot before. I love to run barefoot. I love to wallrun barefoot. I love the sensitivity of flesh, and being able to feel what I tread on. But what I don't love, is having to walk about 150m on gravel.

Yes, gravel; being stones anywhere between 5mm and 10cm, some sharp, some round.

Well gravel path aside, the stream trotting was awesome. We spent more than half an hour wading up a stream, making our way to a waterfall. When we got there, we decided to take pictures of us, what else, but sitting in the flow of the water. I'm sure it made a great picture, at the expense of out butts though. The water was freezing.

So we sat down, laid down, and had a water fight even. Then it started raining. We promptly left, lest we be swept away by a sudden gush of water. Instead of taking the river path down, we took a gravel road. *Yippee. More gravel* Though had taken us the better part of an hour to get there by the stream, the road took us back to the start within 5 minutes of us setting out. That means that we could have technically avoided the whole mumbo jumbo and walked straight to the waterfall.

But there's a lesson here. By taking the longer, harder road, reaching our destination was made that much more fulfilling. It's not just achieving something. The journey on the way is important too.

When we got back, we washed up then had BBQ for dinner. After that, we headed to the hall for our session. It was about what winning means. We all pretty much had a unanimous view on it; giving your absolute best, no holds barred, regardless of the outcome. If you're unsatisfied because of what you don't have, chances are that you wont be satisfied when you do. Again, the journey counts.

We went for a night hike after that. I had brought 4 torches to lend out, and luck of all lucks, Jamie's had run out of battery. I sacrificed Shirley (my Surefire) to him and instead navigated by light of two glow sticks. Surprisingly, I didn't get any leaches. Phylli however, collected the average of 1 leach per 4 minutes spent in jungle.

Though we were beat when we got back, we still ended up watching a late night movie called Never Back Down. (Props to Jon for telling me bout it. =D) The main character starts of as an angry young man who cant hold back his anger, and had a tendency to release it in violent manners. He's portrayed as someone who always wants to come out on top, and never lose. Throughout the movie, events slowly craft him into something quite different, and he instead becomes someone who fights for the sake of those around him. A nice element they added was a line about the Shield of Achilles, and how he ended up fighting not because he wanted to, but because he had to. He was fought so that he didn't have to fight again, and even though a chance presented itself, he abandoned the glory of winning simply because it wasn't one of his ideals anymore; because winning no longer involved his actual dispute.

Anyways needless to say, we slept after that. Like rocks, we slept.

I honestly don't remember much of Sunday morning, me being in a half catatonic state. But we did have another session and I do remember that.

One of the things I took away from it was derived from an age old Christian cliche. We are often told to be the salt and light to the world. But I realized that in order to be salt to the world, we must first make ourselves salty. We must learn before we can teach, or learn while we teach. Nevertheless, we still must learn.

Being a creative and wacky bunch, we of course came up with a different definition for the salt and light line.

Being salt, was to vanquish leaches. Light's only raison d'etre was to illuminate the area so the salt can find leaches to vanquish. We had a good laugh about that. Then someone said that "leaches", could be figurative. Our joke had thus become something deep.

We still laughed.

On the way back to KL, we stopped at this duck noodle shop for lunch. The noodles were great. But not as great as the car conversation. While Jamie snoozed, I learnt how to make vanilla ice-cream, and how nun chucks came about. We concluded that all invented food was either the result of an accident, or was Chinese. We talked about all forms of random stuff. At last I've found someone who shares the same appreciation I do for random knowledge, was home schooled, and is interested in psychology. Adam, I swear you must be my long lost twin brother or something.

We arrived at KL and went to Yong Yi's house. We waited inside and had a quick chat while we waited for the afternoon rain to abate. After that we parted ways, and YY sent me home. Waiting for me at home was my dad who had prior to that day itself, been away on a 6 week seminar in New Jersey. His total time away was bout 7 weeks because he took a holiday in Boston with my sister before that. It goes without saying that I was elated to have him back.

He had stayed in an apartment in Hoboken, and it so happened to have a gym. My dad decided to use it at a frequency of what I'm guessing to be every other day. To my utter most surprise when he shed his shirt, his belly was gone! Well, that's not the most shocking change really. Lets start with his biceps. Or rather the biceps a size worthy of a body builder. They're huge. Then of course there's his 6 pack in which with a little more effort, I'm positive he can turn into an 8. And I could go on, but words wouldn't do his transformation justice. I guess you'll just have to wait for the next church camp and hope that tradition persists. *Grins widely*

Well that wasn't the only surprise I received. While in New York, my dad visited David Blaine during his most recent stunt entitled Dive of Death. He bought a deck that David designed for his own use (split spades), and it so happened to be the black one! I can now add it to the red one my sister bought for me. And the deck wasn't all he obtained. My dad joined a long que and got David's signature for me. =D

I was just thinking how funny it is that amongst the many people I admire, three which are near the top (David Belle, David Blaine, and Derren Brown), all bear DB as their initials. =D

And no folks, that's not all. Along with the aforementioned surprises, my dad had brought me something else. 2 days before it's official release in Malaysia, I received my 2nd generation iPod Touch! I'm still in the process of loading my songs and videos into it, along with some applications I took a liking to. But I'm already in love with it. Smitten really. And grinning widely. Definitely grinning widely.

Pleasant surprises aside, it's great to finally have you home dad.


And a word of advice that goes out to all.

Never let someone else kiss your lucky egg.

Sufes

I'm off to Tapah again, albeit no crazy insane brain damaging treasure hunt this time.

=D


I spent the whole of last night sewing artificial leather, and as every unseasoned person who sews, my fingers are riddled with pin pricks.

My fingers, have HOLES.

But it's all worth it.

I finally have my ankle sheath for my skeleton knife.

*grins widely*

Breaking Boxes

A boy can fall flat on his face with a bloody nose,
And he'll get up and run,
And run, and run, and run he will,
All the way home only so that he can cry.

A girl will simply stand up,
And cry.


What is it about males which requires us to be egoistic?

I wish that men could just set aside differences, and cast away preconceptions.

I wish that men could rejoice in another's victory, even when it is at their own expense.

I wish that men could praise those better than themselves.

I wish that men could learn to drop their facade of strength.


Facade is the key word here. We have become so engrossed and enticed by the appearance of strength, that we have neglected to actually develop any true strength at all. We've fallen so in love with the idea of strength, but only the idea. None of the ideals. We have taught and bred ourselves to sacrifice security for the mere appearance of it.

So being afraid of showing our true selves, we seek to gain a shallow security wrought from whatever acceptance we can get. And that we do by putting on our stupid acts of machismo.

Maybe we should realize that allowing ourselves to show weakness can be a display of true strength, one that stems from a confidence in one's self. But if it is only a display and nothing more, then the true purpose of allowing weakness it lost too. That is why only the truly strong allow themselves to appear weak and emotionally vulnerable; because they are very frankly, not bothered by it.

Society has spent too long inventing boxes to fit people into. We were fine before the boxes came along.

We'll be fine without them.


So be weak *flashes pinky*

And be real *TeenStreet guys, you know*

=D

Flying is simply throwing yourself at the ground,

And missing.

Erica

The smell of fresh roses,
Accompanied her footsteps,
Wafting up from below,
Connected by a wooden strung ladder.

There was a flash of her elegant blue dress,
Illuminated part by the moon,
And part from the radiance cast by her hair;
A scintillating beautiful blond.

Her features were accented by the night,
Skin as smooth as the silk of her scarf,
Eyes a sparkling blue like her sapphire necklace,
Her beauty casting a shadow on the gem itself.

I tried to call out to her,
To tell her what she still meant to me,
But try as I might with all my will,
I could not for I was only ethereal.

And so she sauntered past out my sight,
The radiance of her glow slowly dimming,
Leaving me to wake up with nothing,
But the fading smell of fresh roses.

FM Static - Tonight

Thanks for sending me this song Jamie. It may have been purely coincidence but you have no idea what it means to me right now.

I looked up the lyrics and discovered just how much it applies.

I cried.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbFlHd1GP1w

I remember the times we spent together
All those drives, we had a million questions
All about our lives
And when we got to New York everything felt right
I wish you were here with me,
Tonight

I remember the days we spent together,
were not enough, it used to feel like dreaming
Except we always woke up,
Never thought not having you here now
Would hurt so much

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

I remember the time you told me
About when you were eight
And all those things you said that night
That just couldn't wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
And the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
And stayed out way too late

I remember the time you sat and told me
About your Jesus, and how not to look back
Even if no one believes us
When it hurts so bad, sometimes
Not having you here

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

I say
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight


The song is about the artist's brother passing away when they were children, and about him asking God for closure.

It serves as a timely and welcomed reminder to me that God cares.

But closure?

I don't think I'm ready for that yet.

Give me some time.



There is no haste in grief.

Fabric

So many strings of memories we had,
So many strings we wove to make something beautiful.
But in the end the object of beauty,
Became an incomplete solace.

Photoshop

I've been doing some photoshopping lately to take my mind off things.

As some of you know, I enjoy either coming up with my own graphics from scratch, or taking photo manipulation to the extreme. You can click on the pictures for the high resolutions.

Scanline text

I don't think people can truly appreciate photo manipulation without having seen the base picture.

Base

Manipulation

Special thanks to Jamie for letting me use your picture.

Girls, don't faint.

Teardrops from Heaven

Not a single day has passed without my thoughts lingering upon the times we had together.

Not a single day can pass without me pondering upon this final outcome.

I've oftentimes wondered if things would be different if I had invited you to stay over.

I've often wondered if you'd still be here had I called and asked you to hang out.

Too often I've wondered why God saw fit to stir up a whirlwind in the midst of a summer day.

I thought that out of all the things that would prevail while everything else turned to dust,

Our friendship would last the longest amongst them all.

But then without a reason, everything changed.

Without a reason, a summer day turned to a stormy brood,

And a mix of metal and glass flew around a corner faster than the eye could see.

But in that instant was all that you were, are, could be... Was.

And then the rain fell down only to glance off your gravestone.


You'll always be remembered for the summer times.

I guess I'll see you in heaven.

So rest in peace, Kyle.

I love you buddy.

Script

I've been lying.

I've had emotions pent up inside of me which I haven't shown.

I've been hurting and I haven't been able to come to terms with it yet.

So I've put on a happy facade to fool the world.


Pretend, and soon enough the world will pretend along with you.

Continue to pretend, and the world will forget that they are pretending.

But though you can pretend all you want,

You can never truly forget the fact that it's only an act.


I have to find a way to deal with this.

I must.

Mt. Tapor

We climbed Mt. Tapor again, Yong Yi, Daniel, Caleb and I.

I dearly hope that my sunburn wont be as bad as last time's.

A view of the lake

My doggy pal whom we met near the top, and whom outpaced us on the way down.

Anyways it was a pretty fun day, and both breakfast and lunch were fast food. So much for my resolve to eat healthily.

Of Technology and Architecture

I managed to catch but the meekest of winks in regard to my sleep last night.

And tomorrow morning, I'm going hiking.

My excuse?

I was just too engrossed in the architectural possibilities presented by a combination of translucent concrete blocks, electrochromic glass displays, and color changing concrete.

Imagine separating the hall and the dining room with translucent concrete, seeing every shadow cast upon the other side of the wall.

Imagine the current time displayed IN your bare unpainted wall.

Imagine a skylight that changes opacity at your very whim.

Yes, I'm planning my dream home for the eventuality that I become a billionaire.

And then there were my wild imaginings and hopes for the development of a transparent color LCD screen. Imagine the following:

*technical knowledge required*

>Unobstructed view of garden
>Suspended particle device turns near black
>Polymer dispersed liquid crystal device turns hazy white in front of SPD screen
>PDLC is lit from the sides to provide backlight
>Color LCD screen turns on

end *technical knowledge required*

Stringed together in other words?

An apparently clear window, at the flick of a button, turns opaque, then lights up to be a giant embedded computer/television screen. Or if you wanted, by an utterance from your mouth you could change the view of your boring garden into a magnificent lakeside landscape. Combined with the proper air freshener I'm sure you'll be fooled in no time. How awesome would that be?!

I'm not pulling your leg. This isn't science fiction, though there is one missing puzzle piece which is the see through color LCD display.

The rest is already reality. (For a certain price of course)

I really hope that in the years to come they'll develop technology like this, or anything similar in fashion, rather than have them stay in my intangible day dreams.